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Rant #3 – Run Bitch Run
What runs me is the programming that my mother relentlessly and violently punked into me. Which is let go of everything and let me tell you who you are and how to be. Don’t touch nothing, don’t do anything, don’t want anything, unless it is authorized by me, and that will be hardly ever. RAGE…
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BEINGness Lost and Found – Somatic Experience
The consistent abuse that narcissistic parents inflict on their children is imposing on our emotional, mental, psychic, and physical sense of being. However you are naturally inclined to BE is wrong. They way you talk is wrong, the way you walk is wrong, the way you eat is wrong, the way you smile is wrong,…
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My Narcissistic Mother is STalking Me
She’s here. She found me. Yesterday I was walking out of my job and she comes from around the corner like its normal for us to see each other and she says,”Hi,” and keeps walking into the grocery store while I’m shouting her name. I couldn’t believe it was her. I was in complete and…
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Intimidation is a Trick, a Scandal, and a Lie
My abuser used intimidation to make me feel like I wasn’t free. It (the feeling of being intimidated) makes me turn away from approaching certain areas of myself inside my body. I feel a since of fight or flight whenever I feel like being happy, enjoying my day, being pretty, singing a song, being spontaneous,…
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People Pleasing and the Rearing of Pre – eminent Death (Mars in the 12th house Transit)
Last night I was up making psychic life decisions (that is usual as of late). Come to find out Mars is transiting my Mars placement in the 12th house, so, I haven’t really been able to do anything but meditate and rash out what is really important to me psychically. Questions that have come to mind…
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Rant #2
I will never call you mother again. I spend most of my thought process thinking of you and why, and why, why would you, how could you, there is no way possible that someone could know what they were doing and kill a child’s spirit, courage, and will to live. Yes there is, you are…
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You Can’t Manipulate Life to get what you Want
Growing up I was taught by watching my parents that how you manifest what you want is by trying to manipulate life. Boy did they scheme, get rich quick plans, ice cream trucks, moving and shaking here and there, promotions at work and they were miserable. My step – father would talk about his dreams…
Aya Bellené LLC 